The summer of 2016 will haunt our family forever, as Mac McAuliffe committed suicide on Monday July 11. It darkened all subsequent events that were planned – Jenny’s Britt Classical commitment and 3 planned trips for me, as well as sleeping through the night, finding the will to eat, bursting into sobs unexpectedly.It was a shocking death, unforeseen and steeped in horror. Now, many weeks later and has receded very little.
This photo was taken a few months ago.
I learned about it late the next afternoon on returning from an all day visit to Klamath Refuge. We were photographing nesting waterbirds anf life was at its glorious best. Until I returned home. There were 3 messages on my phone and I knew something was terribly wrong from Jenny’s two barely coherent pleas to call her, and Lolly’s message to please call Jenny. But I had no clue nor intuition as to what had happened. Certainly not that Mac had been missing since the previous day and Jenny feared he would not return. He had left in a wild state of mind, and while we were talking word came to her that his body had been found. She had already called Lolly and Heath and they had already bought flights for the next day, reacting instantly to her need.
Mac was so healthy looking, it was easy to forget he has Crohn’s disease, an arterial stint, gout, two bad hips (replaced 2 years ago and excruciatingly painful ever since), and had just been diagnosed with Parkinson’s. Far more than one human being should ever need to endure. But when I visited them in their new home on Whidbey Island in April he was the Mac I knew and was giving no indication of his inner torment. But subsequently he made 3 attempts to end his life with vodka and pain pills. And when this method proved unsuccessful he jumped from a bridge.
Jenny arrived in Ashland 10 days later to play viola at the Britt Classical, her very favorite (and most demanding) gig. She and two very good friends, also violists, had already rented a house in the Applegate, and she decided to play the Crater Lake Centennial concert but not the rest of the season. Britt music manager Mark Knippel was wonderfully responsive to Jenny’s appalling news and agreed with whatever she wished to do.
She brought NuNu with her, he is a curly-haired little mutt, very cute, totally untrained, a lamb when Jenny is around and a total rascal when she isn’t. When she left him with me for an afternoon he promptly made a major mess on my favorite rug, and when I took him out for a walk he tried his hardest to send me flailing. So Vicki Chamberlain took him in for two days when Jenny went up to Crater Lake. Within an hour he had left thru the cat door (which she had taped and thought secure) and put us all through a ghastly few hours as a neighborhood search was unsuccessful. But he was picked up on the SOU campus, apparently shortly after he got out, and spent the night in a cage at the animal shelter. Vicki retrieved him next morning. Jenny was not informed til after the event – losing her pup just then was not to be considered. There was no wifi at Crater Lake anyway. To communicate, Jenny had to find a pay phone and call me collect. (When I got the bill recently I was stunned at the cost – one call cost $22!)
The concert was a piece commissioned by Britt and the park from Michael Gordon, and involved 40 instrumentalists, a large chorus, two extra brass ensembles and a drum ensemble from the Klamath Tribes. The composer spent several weeks in the park last year to absorb its wonders and write music that was evocative of its essence. It was a compelling musical experience, the drums pounding throughout and the chorus and drummers chanting intermittently. The setting was glorious, on the rim in the old picnic ground altho the acoustics were nowhere near what they were at Britt when it was replayed in mid-July. I found it strong and moving and extremely appropriate to the setting and the occasion. The photos of the orchestra were taken by Jackie Markin, a good friend who attended the weekend with her husband Jack and found the experience extraordinary, as I did.
A large contingent of our 21-strong family was coming for the event plus some very good friends – Jim and Vicki and Alan and Carol. All plans proceeded on schedule, although fraught with the always-present awareness that Mac was not with us. I had booked 3 campsites at Union Creek for our group of 14. The day we arrived was great granddaughter Orli’s 8th birthday and after the concert we returned to the campground for a deli supper and a birthday celebration. She played a lovely little game, taking a wrapped gift from her Mom and sitting in front of the giver to open it. The glasses were a big treat.
Jenny joined us before and after performances and played her viola once – a lovely sound in the dense woods. Listening, from left – Sam, Yael with Orli in hr lap, Isaiiah, me, Damian holding one of the twins, Hilary, Phoebe, and the other twin.
The campground was in old growth Douglas Fir and about as-good-as-it-gets. A natural swimming hole adjacent to one site was bounded by huge fallen logs, extremely inviting until you actually put your body in it and went instantly numb. Sam, Isaiah and Orli took the plunge; I managed to crawl out on a log and stick my feet in! It was sooooo cold.
We spent Sunday up at the lake. Sam, Yael, Isaiah, Orli, Phoebe and Damian had not taken the boat tour, so next morning they did.
It is one of the best park experiences anywhere and they loved it. Phoebe got a great shot of the ‘Old Man’, a log that has been floating in vertical position for a very long time and they all loved the cruise. It is the only way one can be on the lake, and the clarity and changing colors of the water are simply magical.
The rest of us, those who had already taken the boat trip and the twins, who were under age, spent the morning exploring the incredible gorge, where the Rogue River pours through a narrow channel in a lava field, and the white water is spectacular. A walk in the surrounding old growth forest took us to the HUGE Doug fir that towers over all others. Then drove up to the lodge on the rim and had coffee on the veranda, while relaxing in rocking chairs and watching the ever-changing lake below.
On the day before the concert a wildfire started at Bybee Creek and the west rim road closed the following Monday. It was the usual gorgeous/fearful spectacle that fires often are and was not brought under control for several weeks.
We left on Monday morning for 3 days at Odell Lake, not too far north in the Cascades. It was windy and chill when we arrived and the white-capped lake was not inviting. But it was a grand old lodge and the cabins were comfortable and fully equipped. We assembled for dinner in the largest, which was Heath and Phoebe’s – the dining table held 11 people with ease! Our meals had been planned and brought by the rest of the family and I did no cooking or clean up, just came and sat when called. It was lovely. We hike the local yrails and to local falls for two days but nn the last day the wind quit and the lake was glassy still. Sam, Isaiah, Orli and I rented a paddle boat and had a hilarious time going nowhere in it – it’s harder to steer than you’d think.
And then it was time to leave for home, and for me to start attending Britt rehearsals and concerts. To be continued.