On Friday August 7, 2020 Lolly and I rose early and were ready for the movers at 7:30. It was the defining moment of a 3 week period of negotiating my move to Maple Ridge Retirement Home in west Ashland. I have been experiencing increasing weariness spending most days tending to the needs of my house and garden. And the accompanying series of small losses of memory were a further indication of my slow end-of-life. I am half way thru my 96th year so such indicators are not unexpected. Living alone was finally not an option. Luckily we found a home that I find more than acceptable, and that I hope even to find enjoyable. I am also keeping my house and studio for family and friends, which makes the move feel less final.
I am starting a series of blogs about my new way-of-life. Since no one in my family or circle of friends is anywhere near my age, your only acquaintance with retirement homes is (maybe) visits to a friend or family member. That certainly was mine. Ordinarily I would arrive with one of my daughters and the furniture and be integrated immediately into this new life. But COVID has changed all that and I went right into quarantine for 14 days. This means life in a 2-room apartment and can only be likened to being jailed, altho it’s nowhere near as drastic. I get 3 meals/day and comfortable surroundings, and lots of helpers, but personal freedom has vanished. This is entirely new in my life, and it is a very hard adjustment. Even temporarily.
Actually it is the end step in a process of loss-of-freedom. The first step was when I stopped driving at 94. I gave my car to Bruce and Ann to use. It was old (2004) but in very good shape and had only 120,000 miles on it. It was Honda’s first hybrid and turned out to be far superior to the Prius, which came out the same year. Ann had an old wagon, a rattletrap that she was, however, very fond of. Bruce had a bike and good legs for walking. In return they take me on fun errands, like Trader Joe’s, which we all love.
It is now my 5th day of isolation and is finally easing up and becoming less stressful. But I found I had to orchestrate the round of attendants, who are on 8 hour shifts and vary hugely in their handling of their jobs – some are naturals and some should switch to another profession. I had a great caregiver at home for the past 6 months and noone here comes close to her.
There have been some really fun events, and top of the list was the passing of a big freight train early this morning. A railroad track track goes along just outside the northern fence of Maple Ridge, maybe 75ft. from my windows. I woke to the sound of a train whistle at 5:45 and it was still dark. A long train followed, honking as it went north and it looking like a huge dragon huffing and puffing along. It was the first train since my arrival but I’m told there are usually 4 a day. It is now 4PM and there have been no more, so things are not usual. I loved it. Four trains per day would be welcome events in this very quiet place. And my Mail Tribune arrives daily at my door by 7AM. I have a minimal kitchen but brought coffee and an electric kettle, so I have my treasured morning routine.
The food is certainly adequate altho NOT gourmet. Happily noone seems to care whether I eat or not, or how much. And it’s lovely to do no cooking or dishes. When quarantine is over there will be mqny pleasant routines like morning exercise classes, weekly movies on a big screen, meeting other residents and setting up an art space for watercolor.
Yesterday was a very special day, even memorable. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris made their first appearance together as the nominees for President and Vice-president in the coming election, and each gave an hour’s strong anti-Trump speech with plans for changes that are ahead when they take office. It was thrilling and totally spirit-lifting to hear reasoned, non-histrionic talk by thinking people with clear and useful ideas. Harris is mighty charismatic, a reminder of the 2008 arrival of Barak Obama to the same arena and the hope that he engendered.
Then I met Katie, the activities director here, and my personal life got remarkably better right away. She asked what she could do to brighten my life and I responded with a splash of ideas which she immediately began to implement. And suddenly I had ‘Hamilton’ on my TV ready to play, a book ordered that I want to read and (maybe) permission to walk the empty halls in the evenings when they are uninhabited. I watched half of ‘Hamilton’ after dinner but was so tired I left the rest for tomorrow.